My last Vow

My heart was thundering at my temples and my lungs felt like they were gonna burst. I’d only been on the tread mill for five whole minutes, and I was ready to call it quits. My speed was holding steady at the 5.5 level. To my left, an over zealous 18 year old caught me glimpsing at his (it had been at 7 since I started). Showing off a bit, he pumped it to 8.5. Grunting loud enough for the entire gym to take notice, I pretended not to! Instead, I focused on the TV screen in front of me, deciding that the sham being advertised was far more interesting. To my right, a lady struggling just as much as I was. (This was usually the part where I threw in the towel.) This wasn’t anything new.

Each year, I vowed to get fit. And each year I failed to keep it. I couldn’t keep my vows… I never could!
I once vowed to stay away from cheese cake. Instead, I succeeded only in developing a sweet tooth and becoming 10 lbs heavier. It didn’t surprise me though, I didn’t take vows too seriously.

I watched my parents marriage fall apart when I was growing up. And if you can throw in the towel on the most sacred of vows….then hello cheese cake! I mean really, where did the notion of vows come from? What’s their purpose? Are they relevant? Reading the entire Bible (my religion teacher would be proud), the only deliberate connotation to marriage that I found was: “what God has joined, let no man put asunder” ( Matthew 19:6)
The earliest tracing of wedding vows is found as far back as the middle ages, in the Common Book Of Prayer. This book, written in the 1500’s, was heavily endorsed by King Henry VIII.
It outlines the wedding ceremony that is still practiced today. Back in the middle ages, marriages were more of agreement for social/political status. The vows were a form for the groom to let the brides’ family know that she would be taken care of.
The traditional wedding vows stated for the bride to “honor and obey”. However, this phrase has rubbed some independent brides the wrong way. The word ‘obey’ isn’t viewed with the same meaning as it once did. Today, it can make some women feel like they are agreeing to be subservient to their partner, instead of an equal part in a marriage. The phrase “to love and cherish” is more socially acceptable for today.

Wedding vows today are as relevant as they once were. You can now personalize your vows by opting to write your own. This will not only capture your unique personalities, but can help you rediscover why you fell in love in the first place. When you stand in front of all your loved ones and make a verbal declaration of your love, it’s a powerful commitment. Strong declarations before the All Mighty helps solidify how serious you are about one another. Your vows are also a source of strength throughout your marriage. When repeated out loud, they can help you when the going gets tough in this world of ready-available-divorces. The whole point being, to remain faithful….and faithfulness is hard to keep (just ask Henry VIII).

You’d be surprised at how creative you can get personalizing your vows. If your stumped for words, there’s a bounty of help. The internet can be a great source of inspiration. Write your favorite poem in your own words, and you can always ask your clergy or officiant if all else fails. However you go about it, remember that what’s important is that you express in words the affection you feel towards the person you are about to be unified with. Time and dedication can make poets out of all of us. Good enough to make Shakespeare green with envy!
After all, “a rose is still a rose” but a rose by the name you give it… it’s even sweeter.

The TV clock read 10:30, I’d done it!!!!! I’d managed to finish a whole half hour. My efforts had not gone unnoticed. The lady to my left had also finished with a brisk walk, the steady pace of anything above 4.5 had proven too much. “Wow, you were really pushing yourself towards the end there” she congratulated. My response, “thank you, it helps to commit out loud”.

C-ya round the corner
C.J.